Continued...

this is actually a continuous post from before...as i was in a rush...i didnt get to post some of the things and some of it i had forgotten...now,to recall...well,some1 told me why ALL girls can be cruel...but pls rephrase ur sentence...it is not ALL...just SOME...i know urs is like a slut..and the facts is right in front of you...it is just a matter of confronting it...but u cant...so u chose to stand all her attitudes...
They asked, "how does it feel to love someone who loves someone else?" After a deep breath, I answered, "It's like hugging a cactus, the tighter you embrace, the more it hurts..."
That is the way how u are feeling right now...the pain...i had given u advices..given u route...given u choices to choose from...i just dun hope that you'll disappoint me,my fren...
after talking bout his problems,he asked bout me...told me i had some sort of changes...well,the answer is vv simple...i had been hurt...that's y i'm learning to protect myself this way...i'm never ever gonna fall in love again...even if i do,i will control my feelings for that person so that i wouldnt go any deeper...i'm just afraid...just afraid that i'll be hurt once more...
"fool me once,shame on you...fool me twice,shame on me"
yes,indeed...tat is the quotation...and really,shame on me...i had been fooled by u twice and for the god damn same reason...haihz...just dun wana think bout it anymore...i might be over-self-protected...but that's the only way i can survive...

SEM 2 - Week 4

nothing much bout this week...had heard sth from some1 of my past....i do hope i can help him to sort things out...but anyway,take good care my fren...went for dinner on wed with ryan and gang...ate steamboat...have fun though =)
as usual...i'm the most talkative 1...but hey,it was only tat day i talked...usually i dont =) me and joyce,we had sooo much in common...haha...gonna plan a good good trip ^^ this sunday i'm going to lagoon with them too...suppose this saturday to go to phuture...but haihz...due to the need to wake up early on sunday morning,i didnt follow my other gang
instead,will be going to movies with ryan and gang again...furthermore,i will be having small tests on monday...so i guess,i'll be good for this week first =) lolz...next tuesday will be eating with my mates again...havent plan where to go =( be back for more...

HYPER

hahah...as usual...am in hyper mode now...lolz...it was for 2 reasons...1 is vv vv personal...it's kinda secret...and the other 1 was,will be going to lunch with mates tomolo...will be taking hell lotsa fotos...tomolo louis will be separating our accounts as in our phone lines...tat's good...i dun wan to drag anything any longer =)
i bought a new phone pocket which looks like a pants but in a petite size...i oso bought a dress and a belt...a dress which is suitable for clubbing...hehe...i oso bought a new bottle which is in PURPLE colour...my fav =)
there's lotsa plans on my mind now...so that's oso kinda 1 of the reasons i'm hyper-ing...i just love my mates loads...we have funs together...go thru ups and downs together too...this sat feli invited me and chai yen out again...hope this time she wont ffk =)

PARTAY~~!!!

just came home...it's saturday nite...wat more i can do...CLUB...hahah...suppose to go to phuture...the other gang canceled it bcuz they had basketball competition...then another gang call me again...but didnt make it lar...cuz she say kl jam...so no go
at last...i went to sanctuary...with rayner and phoebe...my ex colleague's from mooncake's festival event =) guess who i saw? i saw william...from team secret...i mean ex member of team secret...the white myvi guy lor...hahah...i was like...why so familiar...so i bring my guts forward and call william? lolz..he ask,"louis gf?"...i answer EX...i repeated a lot of times then only he get it...wtf...lolz...so coincidence ler...
then i make a lot of new frens...got a gal came forward to me and say i'm cute ler...she added that she like me a lot...and we exchange phone numbers =) glad to be frens with her...then phoebe introduce some frens of hers to me =) i did had a great time...
kinda dizzy...cuz i kept bottoms up...haiz...not gentleman at all lar...keep ask me drink...luckily i still can drink...damn...it's edi 4.26am jor...i gtg sleep ler =) photos will be uploaded soon...cuz some of it is with my frens =)

a lil bit of disappointment

haihz...i had received a sms from my dear chai yen...guess what? the outing tomolo BO JADI =( haihz..feli put aeroplane leh...haihz...nvm lar..there's always next time...so no photos to update currently...have to wait for last min call again...
sienz...vv sienz...today really sienz..can fatt mou...just now went out yam char again with the same gang...haihz...oso sienz lar...ntg to do...so i went home earlier so i can online...so far,i need to do all my tutorials...especially FAP...cuz i'm presenting on monday =(

it is time

been talking on the phone with ryan again...talked for an hour plus...yeah...it was hell long...lolz...we discussed on problems persists...he knew that what he was doing...he knew lots...and i just understands he doesnt know how to express it...well...sud i set a dateline or sud i just let it flow like how george said??
i havent asked JL yet...i sud have talk to him first...there's lotsa things ryan told me today...he's starting to open up to me bit by bit...it's time for me to change...a new me,a new personality,a new characteristics...from external to internal
yes...in the previous post,i said cy told me i had changed...i guess tat isnt good enough...so i had decided to change even more...i aint gona care bout anyone anymore...with exceptions ofcuz...i will continue to give concern to my best buddies..
i'm not gona be sticky anymore to any1...it is finally time to change...haihz...on the other hand,i still dont know if i should set a dateline or not...when the time comes,i will let go of everything =) then no1 will suffer right? yeap...then yes,it is =) i am already independent...now,i must learn how to be strong and be even more mature...

randomzz

today i was late again...i skipped first class...haihz..it's only week 3 of sem 2 =( attendance not nice jor =( haihz...and i purposely do my corporate law & governons tutorial lor...damn sad lar...
planned to swim today...who knows,it was such good weather in the morning and suddenly it was raining cats and dogs in the afternoon...so we didnt go for it =( i purposely dun wana swim ytdy nite de lor...haihz...suan liao...
as usual...it was raining,i fetch chai yen bek...then we had our gal's talk...she told me that i had changed a lot when compared to last time with louis...i noticed that too...just that i wanted to protect myself...i dun wana hurt once more...once is enough...moreover,i experienced twice...anyway,that's good she said...and she preferred to have me in this way =)
i dun have new pic nowadays...cuz of the outings with diff gang...sat will have loads...cuz will be going out with feli...guess what,she's driving...hohoho...a bit scare lar..hahah...and she loves taking photos...so,i get to update my fb again =)

satisfied~!!!

yes...indeed,i am...the results were released today...i was so happy...i thought i will either fail or pass the paper...especially business law paper and managing information system...but i get an A and business law was B+...hahaa...it was out of my expectation =)
heheh...just one word...hyper-ing now...hahah...and another thing was,we discussed of going to taiwan...this trip package is go for 22days like that...bout 1 month..so,we can only go on long term break =) not only that...we did discussed on going to genting
we had already discussed earlier on...but that time i was still with louis,so i couldnt make it..and now,it's just us gals without boys =) yuen's bf is at UK...cy was like wana break now..me and lynn is single...so yeah...it's like a single ladies trip =) cant wait for it...
the only prob is,who will be our camera man?? hmmm...we will share 1 room together cuz there's just 4 of us...well,as usual,i'm afraid of those things....will be bathing with the door open or bath with either one of them...hahha...and i guess i'll be driving...not sure yet...just getting excited...hehhe..
went to steven's corner and have breakfast with mates again...as usual,chit chat and eat =) nothing much lar today..started to concentrate on my studies...alright,gtg...need to finish up my corporate law & governons tutorial =)

Day before exam results are release

argh...u can imagine how nervous i am...yes,tomolo the results will be out...i just hope that i can pass every single subject...especially law,financial acc,managing info system and managing acc fundamentals...haihz...just pass is enough...vv gan jiong..
today nothing much ler...supposed to go for swimming but it's raining...haihz...health and fitness campaign 2009 begins today...they had lotsa activities...like bodycombat,yoga and etc...they even hired intructors from true fitness pavilion...u can see,it's vv happening...they're giving out free gifts and samples too...yoghurt drink,yoghurts,milo fuze,nescafe,nesvita and so on..
i had piano class in the morning then headed to meet up my group members for breakfast...sorry that i'm late guys,my class ended late...we ate bak kut teh...yum yum...too bad,lynn didnt join us...there's lotsa things my dear chai yen told me today...as usual,i'm the listener =)
after that,we drive to college and headed to the library...lynn was waiting for us there to discuss our assignments on auditing...as usual,i'm the most 3 8 amongst them and chai yen was in rank 2...hahah...yeah,keep talking rubbish,playing and laughing like a hyena...haha...love all my peeps..i pray for every1 so that we will pass our exams tomolo =)

1st day of the week

it's monday again...as usual...kinda slow...and tired...lolz...went out with ca guo and chai yen today...went to tropicana city mall...we sit down and chat a while then only headed to the movies...catching up with an old fren...he looked diff..better =) watch pandorum...nice show..yet scary again..
i felt that i kept watching horor movies nowadays...lolz...dun care lar...as long as there's movies for me to watch...then after tat i went back home...cuz dad need the car...wondered what car will i be driving to college tomolo...will it be bmw?? cuz this few weeks i kept driving toyota wish...and dad wanted to bring it to service..other than that,i had no other cars..
ryan is beginning to be more concern of me...i'm happy of that =) it's becuz i USED to fall for him...b4 that,he treat me like normal only...but this few days,his different =) but is it too late? too late for everything that had ended? or shall i give it another try?
i guess i better not =) single is good for me now...lalala...boring boring boring...i just got a good news from ACCA...guess i'll be graduating early than i expected it to be =) it's good...time saved,movey saved and my youth oso saved...haha...most importantly,i can go out to the real world =)
bout class mates...nothing much happen...as usual...laughing and being 3 8 is our main activities..guess who's the most famous among all of us?? hahha...the answer is damn obvious...there's a conflict in between one of our mates..the story is too long to write it down..so i guess i better not...pics of us in class will be post up soon =)

saturday night again

well...once again,it's end of the week...was planning to go to genting earlier...like bout past few weeks...but plan canceled...then i suggested going to my hometown's waterfall with ryan,mk,may,kat and joyce...but plan canceled too...wanted to go sungkai...but kat,joyce and mk went edi earlier as the same date team secret go...
so...the plan was like kinda last min...ryan asked me go sing k...but as u guys noe,i hate to sing k...i had other plans...club was one of it...fren called in the afternoon...but all of sudden,cancel d...then as usual,i have to look for activities myself...then i got 1...is to PD for bbq and come back...
BUT the plan oso cancel...wondering why,right? well...the club plan was on again...so i told mk and gang see if they wana join...but they canceled the sing k plan cuz of me...every1 didnt go...so i felt kinda guilty...i FFK everyone and go sing k...haihz...happy now ryan? but it's not tat bad lar...did enjoy the time...ah ying and ah soon was there too...ah ying was the only one who sang the english song with me...haihz...
sang a bit of chinese..chorus part...haha...nvm lar...at least i sing mar..right?? hehe...i went to pavilion and sg wang on friday...went to do some research on skin care products...nope,it aint for my assignments...it's for my own use..wanted to chge products =)
then at night,ryan asked me out to watched sorority row...he already booked me since wed...lolz...so good of him...it's a vv nice movie...but scary too...haha...then after tat,we went to murni,ss2...yes,jeff and jane was there...from one fm =) then went to mk's hse area there yam cha...went home bout 2 sth...kinda tired..been out the whole day =)
there arent many photos now...cuz i really very lazy to upload lar..but there're some new pic in my facebook =) here's the link of it http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/bebejezz?ref=profile

Updated

i went out with kean fatt on sat...we went for dinner then movie...he was one of derrick's frens =) we watched perfect getaway...it's a good show including you understand the story...nothing much oso this few days
have been feeling upset this 2 days...dunno the reason beneath it...today i went to pei chie's blog again...she had updated on sat's activities oso...i was oso invited to that TT but i didnt go...cuz i knew he wud be there...then i saw his foto with his gf...finally they had a perfect foto...bcuz they stand closer yet not woody like b4 =) just now,i had just watched a video...it's bout forgiveness...i found what they wrote is true...they wrote "When deep injury is done to us,we never recover until we forgive...forgiveness does not change the past,but it does to the future"
i admit that the feel for my ex is still there...but it aint that strong...probably bout 10% i guess...i know what i sud do...i know that i sud be letting him go already...i know i sudn't think of him...but u have to understand too...it's a long relationship...it takes time though...let time do it's job...

things happened this 2 days...i dunno how i sud put it...i dunno what he is thinking...the word "he" aint referring to my ex now...haihz...what sud i do?? the path in front of me is real foggy...pls show me the right directions...pls tell me what i should do...should i go left,right,front or stop? stop and wait and see perhaps? i dunno too...
but i didnt put him into an important manner kind of place...but this still matters to me...i need it to make the next decision...single is still the best...will be going to zouk and phuture for the coming weeks...dun wana face "him" so much edi...will be having my usual life again...or is "he" using me?? i dunno...confused once again...i'm working hard on my diet...this brokes my records...never been doing this in the past b4...i guess both the guys,ex and "him",really gave me the motivation to keep moving forward..

promised bout the fotos...uploading soon...been lazy as usual ^^

SEM 2 WEEK 1

nothing special this few days...just went for yam cha with my ex and jl (my most respect fren)...yes,indeed...i respect jl a lot bcuz he used to help me a lot in the past no matter what prob...in my love life or my personal life...i seeks advice from him....was hyper to see him ytdy bcuz i had lotsa things to ask for his advices ^^
ntg much lar...didnt talk much to ex too...bcuz he was playing laptop...yes...he's indeed still the same...dun dare to face me...well,need not to bother much bout him lar...he's such a nuisance...always seek me for my help no matter in any kind...financial,language and so on...but when i seek advices from him,he just turned his head around...now u noe his nuisance behaviour...
this week my new sem started...basically,ntg much...but there's about 4 out of 6 subjects are 100% theory...so this new sem,i must be vv hardworking...so that i wouldn't need to suffer so much when the exam is here...
went to pavilion on wed with mates but i didnt join them...bcuz i was out with other frens...i went to DA ON again...not bcuz i miss my ex...but i just love the korean dishes there ^^ nice decor,clean environment and vv relaxing...after that,headed to starhill to have a look onn new designs bags...then came back to pavilion again...
not long,i look for my frens at NICHI...we play dressed up again...then,the cutting doesnt fit me...so we when to MNG...yes...MNG is up to new season...there's lotsa of coats...i try on a few =) it costs RM500++ per coat..i just took a pic of 1 design oni =( it's for the used of when i go to UK =)

the last day

yes,indeed...today was the last day of my work...wanted to update my blog few days ago...but due to the slow connection,i gave up...few days ago i saw Nixon...forgot how to spell his name d...i saw him at Raoul..u may be wondering who is he..well,he's one of the team leader from FJ Benjamin in Guess and many departments too,including Raoul =) it's been 2 years i haven met him...i've met all my superiors from Guess this week except for Christine,another leader...i used to admire Nixen...hahha...silly me
ytdy was mooncake festival...poor me,need to work the whole day =( haihz...so cham...i didnt celebrate lar...just another ordinary sat for me...went out with frens then yam cha wit MK...listen to his emo stories again...after that headed to another coffee shop...we drank carlsberg this time...really hate drinking beer,cuz i get drunk fast...he ordered a lot...but most of us wana go home,so we drink all of his beers...hahah
well,today was my last day of work...i slept during working hours...haha...no customers and was vv tired cuz of my late sleep...can u imagine that me sleeping there with ppl walking around?? wonder what will they think...but i guess it didnt spoil my company's name cuz i slept at other ppl's booth...ahaha..sorry "baker's cottage" and thanx for lending me to sleep over =P
still tired..went bek home late a bit cuz need to count stock,check them,repack them...putting them back into cartons...clearing the booth...and wait for the ppl to pick up the stocks...sienz...wudn't be going to lecture tomolo...hehe...wana take a day off ^^ alright,be updating again soon...