It's another rainy day in kl...everyday also rain and it rain non stop for the whole day =( rainy days always remind me of sadness,emo-ness...had my MA coursework test today...i did badly...i knew i will fail...no hope at it anymore...can only count on my coursework 2 and attendance...
had been thinking for a while...friends around me and my ex...there are ppl who understand me and there are not...most of them dun understands me...well,i wouldnt blame them bcuz i hide my feelings deeply and sometimes,i send out the wrong msg to them...when i'm serious,they thought i'm jk...when i'm jk,they thought i'm serious...only those who are really close to me understands me...
close here means like really very very best frens...darling yuan was one of it...sometimes i do not need to speak out,she also knew what i wana say...sometimes ppl thought those who close to me understands me...but i can tell u,even my ex dun understand me...
sometimes it really hurts when u see someone who's close to you,knew you for years...yet they still dun trust you,they still suspect you,they never support you,never stand by your side...it really hurts alot...
am i that hard to communicate with? my conditions are very easy...i just needed someone to support me by my side...i felt like i'm collapsing...i felt vv tired...tired of being acting strong,independent girl who doesnt need a man...deep down,i needed some1 to care for me,love me for who i am...sometimes,i need someone's shoulder to lean on...need someone to hug...
but it aint easy to find someone who totally understands me,care me and love me for who i am...well,i'll just let it flow...next year,i'll be doing ACCA...it means,there's no time for fun already...maybe just not that much...i will continue to update my post =)
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