Disprited~

On 08022015...
It was every ACCA students' long awaited judgement day...

I was in full hope and had carry such high spirit that I'll pass at least one paper...
but...
to my dismay,
it was none!

The highest score I had was 46m for my P3 Business Analysis...
lowest was my P1 Risk,Ethics & Corp. Governance at 42m...
Was in a shocked that my P2 Corp. Reporting was higher than my P1 at 43m...

Spent the whole day alone...
didn't wanted to see anyone,
nor talk to anyone,
nor listen to anyone...
I just can't face anyone...

Time is all I need...
It's been a day,
and I know fairly well that it's time to get back up...
get rid of those weeps,
and be stronger...

Currently,
planning out my study & class timetable *just in case other subjects clashes*
and follow it strictly!

This round,
I need to get through it,
it's either you pass or die kinda thing...

Pretty disappointed with myself,
but with that score,
I know I had rooms for improvements...
and I'm gonna nailed it...

Deep down,
Like every other students,
I'm afraid too...
that phobia of receiving failing results...
it's gonna be my 4th attempt this time...

There are thoughts of giving up as well...
but I knew I shouldn't have,
and shall instead,
forge ahead,
be stronger!
*fingers cross*

Xx annaliese xX

Absenteeism

In this confined vastness,

with silence filling up the room,

sitting here by the window,

emptiness fills me up.

It felt as though it was only yesterday,

although it has been such a long period of time,

your absence had been felt ubiquitously.

It felt as though we were still,

somewhat close,

somehow excruciating,

moving on the line,

or is it just me?

In this silent night,

the thoughts of you came across my mind,

the feelings of you still being here,

that feeling.

Perhaps,

        It was just me,

                      Missing you.

          --Annaliese

Summing up that year - 2014

It's been almost the end of the first week of 2015.
And I hadn't been free enough to sum up my 2014 >.<
That busy life of mine,
it ain't gonna stop :)

Been all busy throughout the whole year.
pretty much productive I shall say...
Work and studies...
But due to certain circumstances,
I resigned and continued to study full time,
to complete my ACCA which I targeted to complete by this June sitting
*fingers crossed*

Those who knew me,
knew I couldn't settle down since I'm a workaholic...
They had all tried to convince that it's for the better future...
That...
I knew...
But...
I just miss those days where challenges of work and study crashes,
it was what made me motivated & pushed me hard enough.

After that ACCA exam in dec,
I hadn't rest tho...
that week itself,
I traveled to Langkawi island with my ex colleagues and interns...
What's next after that week was a wedding of my bestie from zoo gang!
and 2 days later?
Taiwan vacation with my family...

Finally,
some time to settle down,
to write down my encounters and experiences.


As you grew older,
you realized time was never sufficient...
that was because as you grew,
you realized that how time is important!

No matter what,
always make time for families
then friends,
and lastly,
socialize :)

It seems to me that,
almost every year,
I lost an important person to me,
somewhat closed,
somehow much loved!

2014,
I've lost 2 of my family members,
each from a parent's side.
Devastated of course.
But they remain still in our hearts with the memories created.

I've lost a best friend too,
she was once my closed friend...
so close that I'm somewhat blinded by it.
*sounds like love?*
btw,she's still around!

There are mutual friends of us,
came back telling me that she had never treated me like one before,
as she denies it,
whenever ppl said how closed we were...
I on the other hand,
was pretty hurt once I heard...
but then again,
I chose to ignore it...
I chose to even ignore what had been talking behind my back...

Some say,
"why not you make the first move?"
I say,"I had but with her personality, I knew the more I do it, the more it's gonna push her away"
we hadn't been talking for almost a year now...

it was difficult for me,
for once, we had shared the good & bad times,
it's even more difficult for me when I knew what's going on behind my back..
but I moved on...

I chose to keep the memories we had,
no hatred,
no grudges...
She left with no words said,
and we never had talked since...

I've learnt to let go certain ppl in my life...
Though with much reluctancy,
with much love,
and how closed we seemed/used to be,
it ain't gonna work when it's only coming from one side..
all I knew was,
I've done my very best!

There are certain ppl in life,
and you thought they're gonna be there with you for life,
for as long as they could be,
but truth is, 
they weren't...
They're there to teach you an important lesson in life...

For that,
I thank you for showing me the true self,
even though it was a bit late...
but I've learnt...

2014,
made a few friends around tinder.
some left,
still kept in touch with one or two.
*friends without benefits; I know what you're thinking*

So,
what's next for me?
I had no idea yet...
current goals are...
complete my ACCA,
get involve with sports more,
and lastly, a job :)

It's gonna be a more challenging year by year,
but that's what life are made of...
ups and downs...
just like the heartbeat of a living thing ;)

it's half past 3 in the morning now,
best be getting some good sleep before a long drive tomorrow...

On another note,
hair's turning purple! WEEEEEE!
and the header?
I'll fix it SsssooooooooonnnN!

Xx annaliese xX

Passers by

Certainly in life,

each and everyone of us has these passers by.

Some of which stays for a period,

some left even quicker than you thought.

It's early in the morning at half past six, 

sun is about to rise in about, say 30 mins?

I've been like this for the past few months,

wasn't able to sleep.

Prolly it's the studies I'm prepping for,

the big one.

It turns worse after I quit my job.

Well,

At least I ain't alone.

Sister who's rushing off her crazy datelines,

building models *turning our room into a mess*

is staying up as late as I do.

Anxiety,

Worried,

Nervous.

Words and feelings of these sorts best describes me right now.

It's the big one,

I couldn't afford to fail,

Although,

failing in professional level of ACCA papers are a norm.

It's a tough route,

there are times where I wanted to give up,

wanted to just leave ACCA hanging like that,

but then again,

there's this voice,

whispering in me head,

"you've only have 5 left and you still have those ppl to prove them wrong"

Since it was a study break I'm taking,

I decided to blog about these passers by.

A good close friend of mine,

has a situation of a relationship,

which I would say,

somehow rather excruciating.

Which is worse,

knowing 2 persons have feelings for each other,

that were a match for each other,

turns out not being able to be together due to religions

OR

having to turn into someone who can't emotionally take care of you,

but have you in their future?

As she text-ed me earlier on,

she mentioned,"...went to watch him play soccer because I knew our time is limited..."

it poaches straight into my heart.

That word right there,

that the time was limited,

it hurts tremendously.

But it's the moment where both of them could still cherish,

could still make good use of each others' accompaniment.

There are many times in life,

we wouldn't know how much time we have got left to spend with that special someone,

or the one you care,

or even a stranger that you treated as a friend.

At least,

they both knew it would be coming to an end soon.

21112014,

it's been a year of your absence,
a year that we had broke off.

In your one year of absence,

I've came by to meet a few strangers.

I regarded most of them as my friend,

only a few felt the same,

the rest? We remained as a stranger,

or "that someone".

I've came by a person,

whom I fancied,

but somehow,

we cut off because he knew I wasn't the one for him,

or rather,

he had someone in mind.

Sometimes I wonder,

would it be best cutting off or remain connected?

There are times where I wondered how were you,

then again,

there are times where I have the urge to meet you,

or even text you.

So near yet so far,
though we stay pretty near,
but chances of seeing/ meeting,
is equivalent to zero percent.

Perhaps,

losing your contact was the best idea ever,

both for you and I.

Andrew,
I felt the same for you too,
where I hope to keep in touch with u,
Just like how Louis & I did,
I even now talked to his wife,
bout her pregnancy,
bout her lil thing that has heartbeats like us too,
how huge it makes her stomach look liked.
But then again,
I knew your initial reason.
There I knew,
we would be the strangers again,
but the difference? 
The stranger we both once knew...

The ones that remain in contact,

we seldom meet each other anymore,

maybe simply because,

we knew that we are nothing more than a 'hi/bye' friend,

that we are at the lowest level of even a 'hi/bye' friend could be.

These passers by,

each time they left,

they took a piece of me.

It burns,

that each time you started to know a person,

before time allows you to bid farewell or end it properly,

they were gone by then.

But each of them,

they taught me a lesson.

A lesson which no other person whom you knew would teach you.

"The Lessons of a Wanderer"

Perhaps,

this was in God's arrangement,

to test each of us,

to test our patience,

to test our strength.

I hope she'll be fine,

both of them,

although it's agonizing.

Putting God ahead,

despite of their every wants,

their every desire.

Their act,

was truly a noble act,

Sticking to their principles,

their roots.

Lord,

I asked for your forgiveness,

and for you to grant strength in her,

and for you to answer her prayers.

Xx annaliese xX

07112014

That extreme long post is here again...
Wait up...
I realized each time when exam is around the corner,
I would have this habit of thinking into the past and reviving all the memories...
so here I am again...

Few weeks ago,
King Kong and her fiancee came to KL and they invited me for a fine dining...
Initially I rejected...
Well, I hate being the "spot light" but she insisted and Brandon even asked me to come...
I didn't know it was their anniversary >.> 
*grrr*
But thanks darling and not to forget Brandon too...
for that awesome fine dining...

  

Well, girls gotta dress up aite for that special occassion?

*takes a deep breath*

28102014

For the second time of the month,

I'm doing this again...

Changing the tyre -_-

It wasn't me this time...

It was my sister who was driving...

We met up at mum's place since I was working, there is no need to drive back again...

and then this happen...

As when we left mum's place,

we drove side by side..

as the traffic light turns green,

*being an eldest sister, I would usually let them move ahead so I could watch their backs*

and I'm glad I did...

Hearing an awkward noise from her car,

I turned and to my shocking state, 

her tyre had been scratched and air is leaking quickly...

Glad that she could make it to a petrol station nearby,

I changed the tyre there...

There's 2 gentlemen who was filling up the air for their tyres saw what happened and came to offer their hands...

*I gotta say, being a girl does has extra privilege eh?*

check them out below ;)

  

Halloween is a pain in the arse...

first off, last min costume...

second, the crowds!

*suffocating*

But I managed to pull out 2 last min ideas by picking sth outta my closet...

On that exact night of 31102014,

dressing up as Sailor horror!

Glad that ppl could see what it is...

to intensify that effect,

I drew some "scratches" from the sea monster

and of course,

slit throats...

the blood was alright initially...

but...

as the party comes to an end..

I realized that my blood still continues to drip into my cleavage *oppss*

noticed that blood from before party to end of the party?

Speaking of which,

I remembered that there's one night I got so drunk...

that my friend was so worried and she sat my car to make sure I was alright...

When we were about to pay our parking ticket,

a stranger helps us to pay for it...

*awe*thank you stranger*

*just enjoyed being a girl*

such gentleman...

or was it because he was tipsy too?

whatever it is, I'm grateful to that gentleman...

Sent her off to pick her car up when she confirms that I could drive...

As some of you know, 

Zouk has an event on 01112014 called "Dawn the Dead"

Attended and my last min costume?

Wrapped up,

a greek goddess...

I would say,

I will never go back to Zouk for such event...

It's so packed that you could hardly even move!

but at least the girls enjoyed it!

Here I am,

My full costume of Greek Goddess!

Left to Right:

Greek Goddess, Bunny & the Maid

We even spot the wolf from 3 little pigs!

The only one who could act along with me

Sugar high?

It's her last week of work...

That last week of being an auditor...

That last week of being a senior...

That one last week...

with so much emotions in her...

We were handling a huge case,

from one of our biggest clients...

For the first time in the history,

The whole team went out..

At least in my last week,

we could still work as a team ;)

Bewarned!

it's Chaos...

as though there's a huge hurricane...

let the pics speak for itself..

The many files that we needed to check

*bbrrrrghhh*

Freezing much...

The "wantons" are still there cuz my junior said kept it as lunch,

Deep fried or steam? *smirks*

I personally loves this one...

at first glance,

you might thought she's a senior...

Truth is, she's our trainee and her senior explaining all her queries...

LOL!

We never sit on a "comfy-CEO" chair because too much comfort might make us unproductive!

When us seniors were fully focusing..

We believe in leadership

by guiding them,

Not by asking them to be followers

My place was a chaos

so much to do yet so lil time...

My last field audit with this cheeky one...

defo needed a we-fie XD

The day has arrived for me to go on a separate path,
As how heavy hearted I am,
I knew that I must move on..
to pursue what I had always aimed for...
besides,
my career development had just stopped there...
I'll miss them for sure,
how we used to work together as a team,
how we challenged each other *debates on issues*,
how we discussed on issues faced...
because that is when I learnt the most...
On my last day,
I handed this card,
with a thank you note in it to both my employers.

Not to miss this one out...

We celebrated Grace's birthday...

Surprised her with the presence of Joe, Presto & Azmi

That sparkly candles to match that pretty cake...

solely for that gorgeous darling of ours...

Glad that you love everything we planned & we love you so much! 

While scrolling some articles,
came to my attention that TimeOut KL posted a post of a flea market by Carousel...
without hesitation,
*and being lazy to make up*
grab that cap and ciaoz...
Everything was on a bargain price...
so cheap that you would just get anything you love there...

A for Annaliese...

That green dye is fading off,

my next colour would be my favourite one...

PURPLE!

I have no idea what came over me,

prolly stress and mind full of over-thoughts...

head down to the gym and spent 2 hours there...

Did a 5km cardio run,

sadly, my performance had deteriorated...

but I'll train back once after my exams...

Did some hamstrings workout,

hip abduction workout,

abs workout,

and weights for my arms too...

seems like I done everything eh?

My 5km and 12 laps run!

All these workouts doesn't seem to wear me off,

I went on to train on my knees up on the monkey bars,

it was my first attempt though...

Check it out below...

It ain't easy but I'll get there...

It's almost 5 in the morning...

better be off now...

Xx annaliese xX

That strong, iron lady emerges again

It's been a while she do this and here comes the day that her car tyre punctures again..

The first time happened when she was on her way back from Andrew's place and changing it along the stretch of Jalan Kuching heading onto the ramp of Sentul-Segambut roundabout..

Back then, she was barely 20 years old..

Below was the link for experienced she had:

Past Experience~

She remembered that her dad said it was different for this car as the rims had been changed...

but he never taught her how to do it in case of emergencies...

Here's how badly flatten the tyre was...

She was rushing off for her class...
Decided to change it later when her class ends...
Kelvin, her junior, her colleague who was attending the same class decided to stay back too to help her...
This is another different experience she would face as the tyre is kept right under the car instead...
When Kelvin was actually figuring how to take the spare tyre down, she's already leveling it down...
They couldn't help but laugh loudly at each other..
She'd some strength there...maybe because she trained for wall climbing...

Got herself into the dirts but clearly, she's pretty much enjoying the whole process of it...

To be frank, luckily Kelvin decided to stay back because she doesn't have the jack to lift the damn car!

When they were figuring how to remove them allen keys, here comes her hero of all time; DAD!

Dad show them how to do it but he took the wrong tools to remove them nuts!

there goes the loosen allen keys and he called the foreman...

After some ding dongs, finally they can all go home and rest after a long day!!!

Right as she settles down, she noticed these bruises...

"Ah well, it's fun & experiences...It was worth it",she told to herself...

Car had been sent for repair & maintenance the next day...

Must had been her kneeling down to check her spare tyre and the jack leveling...

She still has them up till today...

It simply reminds her of the lessons learnt!

16102014

On another note,

she finally found the courage to tender her resignation...

as how much reluctant she felt,

she knew she gotta go...

because her career development would just stop there if she hadn't...

Grace said that all I needed was a push...

and here you go,

with some personal reasons,

I tender the resignation letter.

Though there's much to learn from Ms Lam on life lessons,

but the world out there is just to big to stay here,

and I would love to experience it for myself; on a hands-on basis...

The only thing that left me stranded,
was the new batch of trainees...
I wasn't able to be there and complete the training there with them...
But I know,
they are all in good hands of the other 2 seniors in the firm...

Lord,
I thank you for the courage you gave me,
for the bravery to stand firm on my decision,
for every obstacles to make me a better person...

Oh Lord,
would you grant me another favour?
that both my bosses would be still of good health and the management will still do well..
that the trainees can overcome their "ferocious" seniors :P
that my 2 colleagues will not suffer that much after I left...
please do...


I do have plans,
but it's all blurry now...
in time I hope it would be unimpeded...
and mummy, I would miss you even more~
I promise I'll visit you more often...

Xx annaliese xX

Tonight...

Tonight she finally had the courage to open up the folders, the old folders...

One of her colleagues asked to borrow her hard disk for some educational purposes...
This is where she open up her hard disk, to check where the recordings were...
and came this folder...
Named after him,
and his movies which she requested...

She thought she would feel a pinch of pain in her...
but to her surprise,
she felt nothing but only a sense of absence...
his absence...together with their memories...
From batang kali trip, Malacca, UK, Port Dickson and Pangkor...
from that tip of the very beginning of their stories to the very end...

Although the answer she had always seek will never be found...
She knew, these were the wonderful memories they both once had...
and let it be the end of their chapter,
the least she knew was that he moved on...
and so does she...
at least the feelings were once true...

On another note,
she came to a cross road,
decided to tender her resignation...
felt heavy hearted to leave but there are times,
ppl have gotta move on and venture into new challenges...

This was her turning point,
What's next holding up for her?
Let it be obstacles,
Let it shower upon her...
She will be ready by then...


Andrew,
Seeing you being happy was what I had always asked for,
and I knew you would be able to do it regardless of who's beside of you...
There are times I miss the moments,
but don't be mistaken with the feelings,
I thank you for being there for me,
for mentoring me,
for reminding me what life has always been...
and I thank you for that box of darkness you gave when you decided you can't anymore,,which was a gift too...
I missed the 'ol times,
the old us...
but then again, we will always learn and grow up to be a better person...
I just...
savoured it...right here...
Both our decision were right...
and I know some day when we look back,
we would never regret...

Sometimes the heart needed more time to accept what the mind already knows...
May Lord grant me the strength and courage,
to overcome my next challenges and obstacles...
to stand firm on my decision...

Xx annaliese xX