Passers by

Certainly in life,

each and everyone of us has these passers by.

Some of which stays for a period,

some left even quicker than you thought.

It's early in the morning at half past six, 

sun is about to rise in about, say 30 mins?

I've been like this for the past few months,

wasn't able to sleep.

Prolly it's the studies I'm prepping for,

the big one.

It turns worse after I quit my job.

Well,

At least I ain't alone.

Sister who's rushing off her crazy datelines,

building models *turning our room into a mess*

is staying up as late as I do.

Anxiety,

Worried,

Nervous.

Words and feelings of these sorts best describes me right now.

It's the big one,

I couldn't afford to fail,

Although,

failing in professional level of ACCA papers are a norm.

It's a tough route,

there are times where I wanted to give up,

wanted to just leave ACCA hanging like that,

but then again,

there's this voice,

whispering in me head,

"you've only have 5 left and you still have those ppl to prove them wrong"

Since it was a study break I'm taking,

I decided to blog about these passers by.

A good close friend of mine,

has a situation of a relationship,

which I would say,

somehow rather excruciating.

Which is worse,

knowing 2 persons have feelings for each other,

that were a match for each other,

turns out not being able to be together due to religions

OR

having to turn into someone who can't emotionally take care of you,

but have you in their future?

As she text-ed me earlier on,

she mentioned,"...went to watch him play soccer because I knew our time is limited..."

it poaches straight into my heart.

That word right there,

that the time was limited,

it hurts tremendously.

But it's the moment where both of them could still cherish,

could still make good use of each others' accompaniment.

There are many times in life,

we wouldn't know how much time we have got left to spend with that special someone,

or the one you care,

or even a stranger that you treated as a friend.

At least,

they both knew it would be coming to an end soon.

21112014,

it's been a year of your absence,
a year that we had broke off.

In your one year of absence,

I've came by to meet a few strangers.

I regarded most of them as my friend,

only a few felt the same,

the rest? We remained as a stranger,

or "that someone".

I've came by a person,

whom I fancied,

but somehow,

we cut off because he knew I wasn't the one for him,

or rather,

he had someone in mind.

Sometimes I wonder,

would it be best cutting off or remain connected?

There are times where I wondered how were you,

then again,

there are times where I have the urge to meet you,

or even text you.

So near yet so far,
though we stay pretty near,
but chances of seeing/ meeting,
is equivalent to zero percent.

Perhaps,

losing your contact was the best idea ever,

both for you and I.

Andrew,
I felt the same for you too,
where I hope to keep in touch with u,
Just like how Louis & I did,
I even now talked to his wife,
bout her pregnancy,
bout her lil thing that has heartbeats like us too,
how huge it makes her stomach look liked.
But then again,
I knew your initial reason.
There I knew,
we would be the strangers again,
but the difference? 
The stranger we both once knew...

The ones that remain in contact,

we seldom meet each other anymore,

maybe simply because,

we knew that we are nothing more than a 'hi/bye' friend,

that we are at the lowest level of even a 'hi/bye' friend could be.

These passers by,

each time they left,

they took a piece of me.

It burns,

that each time you started to know a person,

before time allows you to bid farewell or end it properly,

they were gone by then.

But each of them,

they taught me a lesson.

A lesson which no other person whom you knew would teach you.

"The Lessons of a Wanderer"

Perhaps,

this was in God's arrangement,

to test each of us,

to test our patience,

to test our strength.

I hope she'll be fine,

both of them,

although it's agonizing.

Putting God ahead,

despite of their every wants,

their every desire.

Their act,

was truly a noble act,

Sticking to their principles,

their roots.

Lord,

I asked for your forgiveness,

and for you to grant strength in her,

and for you to answer her prayers.

Xx annaliese xX