Flying Fox day

Today we played flying fox...I was very excited..It was bout 8 floors high...I shouted as loud as i could when i need to "melapor"...I was shivering as it was very scary...everyone below can hear me...I'm so embarassed...But i had fun...I wana do it 1 more time,but all trainees were allowed to do once only =(

my NS and my confused feelings

Been into NS for the past 2 weeks and was back for holidays.It was a memory that i couldn't forget.My friends who is in the same hostel as me,celebrated my b'day...I was too shocked and touched at the same time.My tears roll down as my friends bring the cake to my front.Our coach celebrated with us too^^ It was a memory full of surprises and worth to be remembered.
I reached the airport today in the afternoon.I thought i would get another surprise from my bf....but as i expected it,even a single present i didnt get.
I had been thinking the whole day...should we be separated for some time?? I kept comparing how he treat other gals and how he treat me.
ESP the gal tat he likes which makes us broke up the last time....He celebrated her b'day and she had a present...
WHY i'm as his gf,he didnt plan anything for me?? He did promised me for I want a surprise....I feel horrible and disappointed.Now i truely understand the meaning of FORGIVE BUT NOT TO FORGET...Both of us did sacrifice in the past..but in love,it doesnt count how much u sacrifice and how much u gain it back....
I STILL LOVE HIM but still comparing his past...I feel sorry to him.

confused emotions

It's been quite a while since i write this things...I couldn't explain how and what I'm feeling right now..Many things happened today and all my emotions had been mixed up...
I was thinking bout my bf that i'm having now...should I break up with him? Will I be happy after I do that?? Does he really love me?? Will he repeat the same thing again? All these worries me a lot..Especially having a third party..
I do feel wasted if we just break up like this...I've waited for 6months++ for him to come back to my side...but love isn't how much you sacrifice and gain how much back...
Is it I'm the 1 who's been thinking too much? Should I give both of us a chance?? I dun dare to go through the damn suffering feelings again...I know this is very unfair to him...But is the only way to protect myself..Time will prove whether we suit for each other...

开心

今天真的很开心^^ 因为可以在你家过夜=)
也因为可以和你在一起。我觉得自己很幸福当你帮我打扮时。我们一起去Genting。虽然你没脱我的手，但是能和你在一起我已经觉得满足了。

Happy Valentine's Day

Today is valentine's day.I wasn't happy at all.A lonely valentine for me =(
You didn't date me out.I had given you all the hints but I'm not sure whether you get it or not.

还那么爱你

回到我们开始的地点，还记得那一次你说你会爱我到永远。到最后你也是放弃了。我所有的付出你都看不见。
Is it really time to say goodbye? Is it really time to let go? Is it really time to forget you? All these questions are on my mind every moment.
每一次看见你和别的女子在一起，你知不知道我的心有多痛吗？
I asked you whether you still have feelings for me or not? You said a bit....I had been thinking."A bit" can just fade away easily.In the past,our 3 years feelings also just fades away like that.Should i wait for you? I don't know.You had been waiting for me in the past 3 years.Maybe it's my turn now.
No matter who you like,I don't care.As long as you are happy,as long as it is not yee ling.
I think this is GOODBYE.Take care and all the best in the future is all i can said.

still hurt...

You asked me out for dinner on 26/1/08.I was very happy ^^.After the dinner,we stayed and chat for quite some time.I was very confused.You did say wana get back together but it depends on me.

On 27/01/08 i couldn't sleep.I kept thinking of what you said.In the end,i sms you whether you are sure that you wana patch up.But the answer you gave me was,"see you can thin anot..sorry".I did not get angry.I was quite sad to see that msg.

I remembered my dad told me once,"the guys that see you also would turn away from you!".I've told you this when we're still together and you said that you wouldn't do that.Now that i know,whatever my dad say is true.I was very hurt and kept thinking lotsa things.I cudn't sleep till it was 7 something in the morning.But still,i didn't sleep well.I woke up at 10.17am.

No matter how much I've changed,i still can't compared to all the girls who is around you.In the past,you had suffered a lot and I didn't want that to happen again.I've once told my friends and your mum that,"once he's awake,i'm satisfied! I also hoped that he'll stay happy".That is all I want.

I'm still strong enough to hang on.Even though i still miss you,i still love you,I think it is best that you decide it.No matter what your decision is,I won't mind.26/01/08....I think this was the last day we met.I wouldn't meet you anymore.I will stay here hoping that everything will go on smoothly for you.All the best!