The Inner Her

That broken lady...
People around had seen her trying to stay strong...
But some had seen the other side of her...
where she cries, complains, blames it all on her...
Just simply because she's all torn inside...
But at the same time, she doesn't want those who cares to be worried...

Yet...
She hasn't gave up hope...
Although in this 21st century, majority of good men had extinct...
to find that minority percentage,
it's difficult...but it ain't impossible...

She's not ready to be thrown into the towel yet...
She's not ready to pass her whole to anyone just yet...
But...
Sometimes the inner her asked,
Why not another chance?

Perhaps she's recuperating...
Or she's already healed...
All that remains were the scars...
...those that reminds her of the hurtful sides...
She deserves better,was what the inner her told...

Somehow...
Somewhere...
Someone...
tried to win her over...
Giving her surprises she never had once experienced...
Who would showed up outside your place in the middle of the night?
Who would come all the way that far?
Who would ...?

She had decided long ago...
that she needs to travel solo...
to clear her mind off...
to have a break from everyone else...
a way of enjoying that lonesome...
to find that one true self...

She had decided to leave on her birthday as a gift for herself...
A break from the busy society she lives in...
A break from rush hour work...
A break from mindful thoughts...
Though there are concerns from the closed ones...
but what's decided must go...

She's learning...
To be an independent lady...
To be not relied on anyone...
To be not put her whole upon anyone...

Because she knew...
Someday, she'll fall back to the pit again...
which she wouldn't want...
Because it ain't easy to climb back up...
And it has been hurtful enough for her...
For the past few relationships...

One thought of the day,
"If it ain't published, it ain't official..."

XXXX
~All torned but still hopeful~
Annaliese