22052010 : went to pyramid and met up with my secondary skul mates...all from diff forms...they were peggy,ky,joo kiat,wei how and *unknown...i forgotten his name...lolz...mayb he's just not so popular tat's why..haha...no offence taken right?
i hadnt had my breakfast yet...so i was super duper hungry...i only get to eat at 1sth-2plus...joo kiat accompany me...went for sakae sushi again =) walked around to look for a necklace tat i wanted...but i found none...so back to amp square,a place where they sing k...i left early...took photos before that...
was waiting bie to came back to kl...took a nap earlier on...bie went off work bout 9plus at night...and we had a silent war going on...because we had misunderstood each other...he asked me to plan for the night cuz he was too tired that he had mental block...
so i'm alright with it...i plan that we'll go for dinner and then to movies...i really tot that he wana go for dinner...but when he came by,he says he dun wana eat...and for that,i didnt plan...and he started to raise a bit of his voice...
i wasnt giving him a slient treatment...i kept silent because i'm afraid and i dont know that to say...he's far too bad mood...so well,we went to 1u...no movies and he fetch me back...my heart aches at that time...for i waited so long,just wana spend time with him,and now,we met not even for 30mins...he sent me home =(
he turned around becuz i couldnt open my hse door...i'm just so sad and so fucked up...i fatt lan zha at my door...and family was heading for a movie...they came bek to change their clothes...but we were alright then...spend time with him till midnight 1sth...
23052010 : woke up really late today...thanks to bie,the msg he sent woke me up...or else,i dunno what time i'll be waking...porridge for breakfast...it tastes,so so...wanted to go out and get sth better instead...but no cars =( tat saga,the workers had it...the wish,daddy drives out...as for the bmw,daddy took the key with him...so i just gotta take watever i have...
watch drama and was practicing piano..for my exam is very near...bie went off work bout evening...i couldnt go to his hse cuz i gotta go dinner with daddy...we went to D'Fortune...i didnt order any main course...just side orders...
i just feel like purging everything out...i felt so fat...and i did before i went to a movie date with bie...we watched "A nightmare on elm street" at 1u...horror movie it was...it thrills me~!! and i kept knocking to bie's head...sorry =(
i rmb back then,before we started,we watched "case 39"...that movie was a thriller too...and we hold hands =) i smile to myself when it's repeating again...but this time,i bite as well...lolz
i was a lil bit of kepoh,shall i say? cuz i checked his fon when he was paying the parking ticket...i had to go thru it so quickly from inbox to outbox that i only read thoroughly...it strucks me once again...bie came back smiling,and i smiled back...i'm acting as tho ntg happen at all...
but i just cant stop my curiousity and i'm tired of guessing...and so,i asked him on the spot...he explained...but i do not know how to believe him...it was chrnc before and now,unhappiness with me? i'm so heart broken that i break into tears...
why there are so many troubles coming for us?
misunderstandings?
to tear us apart?
i was asking myself,why there's so much coincidence?
or was it really coincidence?
the angels and devils were having a war inside my mind...
i tried to be an understanding gf...
i tried to get close to you...
i tried everything i could...
i gave everything i can...
i hold on everytime...
even if it's repeating...
for there was once...and there was twice...
i just hold on no matter how...
even if the cut goes deeper...
if i could...
i would like to be innocent...
i would like to be as dumb as possible...
but i couldnt...
because of my experience...
pls dun start saying that i'm comparing u with other guys...
it's just not...
it's just that i'm sensitive and i dun wana go thru it anymore...
that's why i'm much more aware...
i dun wana check any of your stuffs anymore...
phones,laptops...
unless i was too "lucky" to see it accidentally
i told you that...
i'll hang on to you no matter what...
i'll cope with you...
i'll stay with you...
i'll not leave you...
and i kept my promises...
that is why,no matter how much scars u leave on my heart...
no matter how much i hurt because of those misunderstandings...
no matter how much i cried...
no matter how tough it is...
no matter how...
i'll still hang on...
because i'm truly in love with you...
for i wanted only,was to be with you
the long term relationship that we both wanted
the future that we promised to each other...
yes,i'm fragile...
yes,i'm all torn apart...
yes,my heart is full of scars and scratches...
but still,i wanted you the most...
trust is really important...
but it's fading slowly...
i just dont know how anymore...
with so much things happen...
i'm afraid...
just far too afraid that i had to protect myself...
drew,
can you please secured me?
can you please hold on to me?
can you please not let go?
can you please not stop loving me?
can you please?
it's gonna be our 4th month in a week time...
i love you~
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